The CP3-Port-Toas
CP3-Port-Toases are cool. ''You wanna hear something funny? You're dead. -Portable Toaster to a deceased Scout. The CP3-Port-Toas (movere panem coqure-Rough Latin Translation) is a sniper that has abilities of a toaster. These beings look like they are natural, but in fact, they are artificial robots. The chief of the Port-Toases goes by the name of Portable Toaster. We have asked him about his species, and this is what he has told us. "blergh, I dont feel so 'BLURGHBLUUUUUUURGGGHHH GAAAHH'. urgh." He was drunk at the time, but we got this information. The CP3-Port-Toas is an artificial sniper that "eats" bread and produces toast. They are not known to hunt down human flesh, but they will retaliate if attacked. Some CP3s have joined human groups. It seems that the CP3-Port-Toas reproduces by some sort of building. They can either get an ordinary toaster and give it life, they usually do that, or they will abduct a human to perform "surgery" on. The CP3 will only convert humans if A) they are nearly dead and thatss the only thing they can do to help or B) the said human has done very very destructive things to toasters for a long time. Very recently, however, it has been discovered that the CP3 can actually give birth, so coitus between two Port-Toases may not be uncommon, but it seems the CP3 is straghtt. The Standard CP3-Port-ToasCategory:Sniper TF2-nimals These creatures are generally peaceful beings, but will attack if provoked. The Port-Toases can be in RED or BLU. These toaster like creatures wear an Anger hat (painted depending on their personality) and some times the Professer's Speks. If threatened, they will attack with either a huntsman, a sniper or jarate. They cannot take water well, and will self destruct when contact. These beings feed off bread and produce toast, like a normal toaster. They respect the Airforce Family and it is rumored that the chief, Portable Toaster is one of them. However, they still will attack if provoked, just like if the Airforce member was a normal human. They do have a good understanding of english, and will communicate with humans. The Advanced CP3-Port-Toas ''I see you, ya wanker. -An Advanced CP3-Port-Toas to a far away Fyroman. A massive upgrade to the standard CP3-Port-Toas, the advanced Port-Toas is more sophisticated than their counterparts. They can be distinguished by their Extra Layer that the normal ones do not have. When Portable Toaster, the chief, isn't around, these are in charge of the others, even though they don't really have a true leader without Portable Toaster. The advanced Port-Toas is slightly more better with defence and will not hesitate to attack if threatened. These beings can't take water well, but makes more toast than the standard Port-Toas. This is a rare creature, so attacking is prohibited. The Toowoomba CP3-Port-Toas The Toowoomba CP3-Port-Toas, of course, wears the Toowoomba Tunic. They are very daring and adventurous, sometimes doing things most CP3s wouldn't even dare to do. The Toowoomba CP3 is slightly more common than advanced CP3s, and if there is a threat, they will stylishly take it out. They like to be the centre of attention, and absolutely hate having someone else being on top. Its not rare that you will see two of these having duels, and it is completely natural. However, if you are in a great position, then they may attempt to attack you. CP11s are an exception, as Toowoomba CP3s aren't that power crazy. They have competitions to see who can make the most awesomest toast, and they do this regularly and frequently. The TrainSawLaser CP3-Port-Toas Unlike the other CP3s, the TrainSawLaser CP3 is highly aggressive and will attack anything that is the opposite color to it. They will attack anything and everything thatss not the color that the TrainSawLaser CP3, but will spare anything that is the same color, even Fyromen. These creatures wear Desert Marauders, and can be any subspecies. It is advised to not agitate this creature as it will wreck you violently, and your insides will be your outsides, and your brain will be in China somewhere. Fortunately, the TrainSawLaser CP3 is only found in TrainSawLaser. It has been stated that these types of CP3 will worship the Train God. The Winter CP3-Port-Toas These CP3-Port-Toases are EXTREMELY RARE, and it was thought to not exist until now. It has a Cold Killer instead of the Anger, and can be any of the sub-species listed, apart from the CP11. Its origins are unkownn, but this creature is sort of a Bigfoot in terms. Stories from mercs that have been trapped in the snow tell that the winter CP3 is very helpful, and is actualyy civilised. These stories may or may not be true, but what is certain is that finding one of these creatures is considered good luck. The Aquatic CP3-Port-Toas Unlike the other CP3 races, this animal improves upon contact with water. Upon contact, their senses improve greatly and their toast becomes waterproof. If threatened, they will shoot the attacker down. This creature is rare, more rarer than the normal ones. These creatures wear a Criminal's Cloak along with the other items. These beings are quite shy when it comes into new creatures. However, they will hunt enemies down. These creatures use a Cleaners Carbine instead of jarate, as jarate doesntt work under water. We need more info, so if you find any more attributes, please dont hesitate to add to this page. The Chrono-CP3-Port-Toas The Chrono-Port-Toas is a subrace that is slightly more common than the standard CP3-Port-Toas. The Chrono-Port-Toas has a Chronomancer which distinguishes them from the others. They are toasters that are slightly more aggressive towards offenders and can use the Classic, the Normal Sniper or the Huntsman/Fortified Compound. If you anger one of these, it is advised to run as fighting one of these can result in permanent loss of life. They can take water better than the Standard CP3, but still will die in it. Some people dress up as these for parades, and they celebrate them. If you befriend one of these, then they will be loyal to you until they or you die. The Bird CP3-Port-Toas The Bird CP3-Port-Toas is a CP3 that has unatural feathers on it's arms that are capable of flight. It has never been seen flying, but it can. The Bird CP3-Port-Toas prefers lab conditions, and is willing to help contribute to science. This type of CP3 never attacks, and it usually gets killed because of this. Fortunately we have DNA so that these creatures never go extinct. People hunt these for its feathers. The Bird CP3 lays eggs as well as make toast, and the two go well together. Because of this, some people go out into the wild to find these CP3s and follow them so they can have breakfast. Portable says make your own breakfast, you lazy piece of FOR THE SAKE OF LITTLE KIDDIES THAT READ THE WIKI. The Desert CP3-Port-Toas As the name implies, the Desert CP3-Port-Toas lives in very hot, dry places. They usually are on their own, but sometimes go in groups. Their head has a pipe sort of appendage coming out of their mouth, that creates smoke. This appendage represents a pipe of some sort. Desert CP3s are more aggressive, and if they think that you are even the slightest threat, they will attack you. However, taming these creatures is slightly easier than taming other sub-species, maybe for the fact that the Desert CP3 prefers to be domesticated. They usually burn the toast they create, and we have reasons to believe that they are related to the Sniperdile, even though the Sniperdile is a last resort food source. The TeuFort CP3-Port-Toas Before the Toastericaonate, there was a Port-Toas species that was extremley advanced, nearly as advanced as the CP11, called the TueFort CP3-Port-Toas. They were very, very friendly towards humans, and they loved everything, even Fyromen, and the feeling was mutual. Unfortunatley, during the Toastericaonate, they all perished. Its a wake up call to the other sub-species, they aren't invincible. They wore x-ray badges and a very strange looking hood, that currently doesntt exist in the game. ctf_2fort is now a memorial place to remember these beloved creatures. "They were good. Man, if there was one thing that could have ended our war, it was these guys. But, they are gone now. Nothing we can do about it mates. Its a wakeup call to us all. If such an event happens again, we need to be ready. We need to be aware." ''-Portable Toaster on a speech regarding the TeuFort CP3-Port-Toas.'' The CP11-Port-Toas These beings are the evolved state of the CP3-Port-Toas, are extremley rare, and there is one, by the name of Portable Toaster, who is the chief of the Port-Toases, and is respected greatly. He is usually seen in RED. Unlike the standard Port-Toases, he wears a Dread Riding Hood, along with the Extra Layer and Professer specs. Sometimes, he may resemble an undead human individual, removing the specs. In additonn to having the abilities of the standard CP3-Port-Toas, he is immune to water, his toast-making ability is improved, and he will use a MK.II botkiller sniper, or a huntsman. It has been stated that Portable Toaster is in fact, an Airforce family member. He used to be the only one of his sub-race, but we have found proof of more CP11s. If Portable dies, then a random CP3-Port-Toas will perform a ressurection spell that they have no idea how to use on other occasions. Portable Toaster attacks slightly better than his normal counter-parts, and is capable of human english. Approaching him is fine, just dontt attempt to murder him or you may get kicked off the server. He doesn't take slavery very well, with a history of enslavment. He has a slight addiction to bread. Being an Airforce, he can rocket jump, albeit poorly since he is a sniper. However, he may transform into a soldier/trolldier, and thats when his skills improve. If you see him, do not attempt to hunt him as he is ENDANGERED! We are trying to clone him, but we need more research. The Meta-Port-Toas The Meta-Port-Toas isn't a sniper, but instead, is a trolldier. This is Portable's airforce state. He wears an orange Whirly Warrior, a samurai mask (I can't remember what its called) and Jupiter Jumpers. He sometimes uses this to duel with the Airforce, although this is purely for fun and training. How Portable does this is a mystery even to him, but it probably originates from his Airforce blood. If you anger this creature, you may recieve a shovel to the head. The BLU Portable Toaster ''Holy dooly! -Portable Toaster upon realising his BLU counterpart. There is a rare and odd chance that you may see a BLU version of Portable Toaster, and it may or may not be him. A sub-race of Portable Toaster exists where he appears blue, and there is ONE known of this sub-race. His name is Tortable Poaster, and he is Portable's long lost brother. Sometimes, theres a hate between the two, as of all human brothers, but other than that, they get along pretty well. Tortable has the same attributes as Portable, minus the addiction to bread and tortured past. Powers and Weaknesses. Powers *Toast-making. *Sniping. *Radar scan. *Advanced melee attacking. *Diplomancy. *English. *Jarate throwing. Weakness *Water. *Fyroman hate. *Can't tolerate slavery (Portable only) *Addiction to bread. (Portable only) *Death of other CP3s (morale decrease) Endangered Species The numbers of CP3-Port-Toases have been decreasing as a result of toaster abuse, hunting, Fyromen, and other reasons. As of this, the CP3-Port-Toas is an endangered tf2nimal, and hunting will result in permanent loss of life. The CP3s are recovering and at this rate, there may be hope for the creatures. How to become. A normal CP3-Port-Toas - The Anger Hat (any paint) The Professer Speks (optional) The Extra Layer (Advanced only) The Chronomancer (Chrono only) The Criminals Cloak (Aquatic only) Portable Toaster (note that if he finds anyone like this, he will either get excited or kill you) - The Dread Riding Hood, The Extra Layer, The professer speks. The Authority List in order The Authority List is the leadership roll of who is superior to who. This sort of resembles a pack dominance, sort of like the young to the alpha. (from lowest to highest authority) Young CP3s Regular CP3s Subspecies Advanced CP3s Chrono CP3s CP11s Portable Toaster (for some reasons he is the head CP11) The Rivalry between The CP3 and the Fyroman ''Ah piss. -A CP3-Port-Toas about to be defeated by a Fyroman. Since the dawn of time, the Fyromen and the CP3-Port-Toases have been fighting. It all started with a simple prank the Fyromen did that backfired, a pie to the face was off, blew up, and the CP3-Port-Toas took it the wrong way. CP3-Port-Toases will go out of their way to slay them, and the feeling is mutal. Portable fears that since their numbers are low, this might be extinction. Fortunatley, there is a solution. If Portable ever finds the Holy Toaster Launcher(an even better version of the Toaster Launcher), he can use it to win the war. He will need help, so if you can, do attempt to aid him in this quest. The war can be won. How the CP3-Port-Toas dropped in numbers. Just as the Airforce suffered from Frok and Holty, research has shown that the same two men were involved in endangering the CP3-Port-Toas. Similar to the "Airacaust", Frok had declared the CP3s unintelligent "piss throwing bread warmers" and the mercs set out to hunt them. Portable had survived the onslaught barely, but he mourns for his brethren. It was a sunny day in ctf_2fort, and the Port-Toases were thriving. A van pulled up, and men got out, after that, things got messy. This was the day Portable had started his annual march, and he was present. Upon hiding in a barrel, he noticed someone approaching him. The man was not here to end his life, but to help. His name was Peanuts, and he handed a strange Cow Mangler. Portable started laying down fire on the mercs, and thats when he realised how special the rocket launcher was. Etched on it was "Toaster Launcher" and it fired many energy pellets at once. He made the mercs retreat, but it was a bit too late. The damage had been done, and many of his people were dead. An entire sub-species had beed wiped out, and to this day, Portable swears revenge on Frok and Holty. Fortunately for Portable, he wasnt alone. His other family, the Airforce, had suffered greatly as well. To this day, Portable is hunting the two men with Airforce Grandpa, to honour his fallen comrades. With the war between the Fyromen, this isnt going to be easy. The event has been dubbed, "The Toastericaonate". Allies and enemies. Allies *The Airforce Species. Natural allies of these solly birds, and there is related blood between the two. *Spycrabs. Natural allies. *Some humans. Some humans are respected in the Port-Toas community. * Breadgineers. These engineers give the CP3-Port-Toast all the bread they need. * Other CP3-Port-Toases. They have a better bond than most tf2nimals have. * Lazygineers. Free beer nuff said. * The Winter Shogunate. The leader managed to befriend the toasters, and also the leader is an Airforce. * Pyrosharks. Portable met Scoots and Biolizard, and they seemed alright, although retarded pyrosharks still atackk. * Gunslinger Engies. Portable met Dusty on the hunt for the two men who killed most of the CP3s. * Demomissles. Demomissles, although wanting the extincionn of the Airforce, really love toasters. Enemies *Sewer Medics. Although not really a primary source of food, CP3s have hated them because they are loud and too territorial. *Some humans. I'm talking about the ones who kill everything they see. *Sniperdiles. They are a secondary source to the CP3-Port-Toas. *The Scout Mite. These hunt the CP3s. *The Chameleon Spy. Portable Toaster being red, there is a natural hate between the two. *Fyromen. They hate each other with the most hate that could possibly exist in the universe. The Myth of the Toaster Launcher.v2.1 ''Now this, is a nice weapon. -Portable Toaster upon recieving the Toaster Launcher. There is a legend that if in '''extreme danger', Portable Toaster will aquire a rocket launcher that launches energy pellets and does extreme damage. Research is required to have a full understanding, but the launcher seems to be permanent on another server, a gift from Peanuts who is an admin on said server. It is Portable's most prized possesion, but it wont help win the war, which is why Portable is looking for the upgraded version of the Toaster Launcher, lost long ago in the biggest tornado ever to exist. Once Portable finds it, the Fyromen will either give up, or be slain. Hopefully it is not too late. Extra: What happened in the Toastericaonate. It was a sunny day in ctf_2fort, and Portable Toaster was doing his annual march to help raise awareness for bread tumor cancer. *a truck pulls up* A CP3-Port-Toas: Hey guys, look, someones here. Another CP3-Port-Toas: I thought people knew that 2fort was off limits today. *truck door opens and a medic and a heavy step out.* Heavy: Open fire. *Mercs jump out and start firing on the CP3s.* Portable notices this, and starts hiding in a nearby barrel. A CP3-Port-Toas: GOD PLEASE HELP! *The CP3-Port-Toas' head dissapears in a mist of blood.* -around 5 minutes pass.- Portable has been praying to his gods. *a man approaches the barrel he is hiding in and opens it.* Portable Toaster: Please, dont kill me. ???: Dont worry, I am a peanut. *guy who thinks hes a peanut gives Portable a Cow Mangler and leaves.* Portable Toaster: Well, now or never. *Portable fires it, and it shoots 53 pellets at once, killing 6 mercs* Portable Toaster: Okay, what the ****. CP3-Port-Toas who is nearly dead: Please, go, make sure they all pay. *after another 5 minutes of Portable killing the mercs, they give up and leave.* Portable Toaster: YOU BIGHEAD WANKERS! An advanced CP3: Portable, we have sustained massive casualties. The attack was lead by two men, names Frok and Holty. Portable Toaster: Tend the wounded. I have some men to hunt. Extra: Portable's Journal Entry 23 I have been on the hunt for 21 days now, and I cantt seem to find much trace, apart from unreliable drunk people. This is getting tiring, and I want to go home now, but I cantt. If I did, the Toastericaonate may repeat. I dontt know how much of this any of us can take. Hang on. We just found truck trails. The same one that contained the mercs. We are onto something here! It looks like the truck was heading towards east. Hopefully this will be over soon. Extra: Portable's Journal Entry 25 Today is a good day. I found a huge stash of bread, tons of it. Cinnamon bread, regular bread, you name it, it was there. Some of it had tumorss, but Sawbihk, I think thatss how you spell it, cured it. I now have huge amounts of respect for him. It has been an hour since we found it, and we are all rejoicing in toasty glory. Hang on, whos that? Its been a few minutes since I wrote in the book, but we found an engineer who has no hand. His name is Dusty, and he is a Gunslinger Engineer. Apparently, our two friends Holty and Frok have nearly wiped out another species. They arentt that good at making animals extinct, I must say. Hess got a new robo arm, and we are all happy to see him. He is the newest Airforce member. Some of my CP3 companions are trying to take all my bread for themselves. Imm gonnago sort them out. Extra: Memory of a CP3-Port-Toas Start Log. User: Carl. Memory Begin Carl and another CP3 named Paul are at a train station, somewhere in Russia. Carl: Hey, Paul, is that Portable? Paul: Yeah, it is. Carl: Heh. He is meant to be rare, but I am seeing him a lot. Paul: Really? (A stranger comes up to Portable.) Carl: These trains I tell you, they keep killing people. Paul is eating bread. (Portable walks away from stranger) Carl: Hey, Paul, that person looks like she has a gun aiming at Portable. Paul: Oh shit. Dude, that isnt good. (Portable gets shot in the shoulder and the stranger walks over to him.) Stranger: Dontt walk away from me, pet. (Portable gets hauled away by the stranger.) Carl: Holy mother of god! We need to stop her! (Stranger gets on a train and rides off.) Paul: I think its too late. Memory End. :Stranger later identified as Marcela. Portable was kidnapped by her, as a means of obtaining a "pet".: End Log. Extra: The Origins Of Portable. Alice was an old CP3 who was the mother of a strange CP3. Instead of the usual red hood, he was black headed, and was a lot smoother looking. The young CP3 was different in personality as well. His friends were cautious and timid, but our young hero was very adventurous, one time seen going for a swim. A TF2BT was called over, and he brought shocking news. That CP3 wasntt a CP3, he was the next CP11 chief. Notes.Category:Neutral Portable Toaster is an Airforce. It has been seen that a Portable Toaster lookalike was dancing with him, and a screenshot has been taken. Talk is going around that sub-races similar to Portable exist, but more research is required. If there isnt any bread to eat, Port-Toases will eat Sniperdile meat. Chrono CP3s are mainly in charge of packs, although if a CP11 is present, then the CP11 is the head of the pack. CP11s, at the final days of their life, go insane. It has been observed that some tf2nimals are part-CP3, and most are close friends of Portable himself. The CP3-Port-Toas creation is linked to a time of struggle not documented, where people tried swapping their organs out with machine ones. A scientist involved in this made life forms made entirely of toasters. Reports of CP3s with two different supspecies type are on the rise, this is normal. Category:Endangered Species